Of Birds and Butterfly Companions…

So I was seated calmly at the office yesterday when I got this newsletter in my mail that almost caused me to fall out of my seat. And here’s why.
I was reading something that appeared to be written about my life. Lol.
But guess what? It had nothing to do with me. Well, not expressly. It was just a writer putting words to thoughts that had somehow been at the back of my mind for ages.
Without further ado, let me share what it is that I read. It was written by Kiah and she gave me her permission to share. It is captioned “Loving Jenny”

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Have you ever loved a Jenny? Have you ever been a Forrest?
I was watching Forrest Gump the other day. It was a sultry afternoon in Chicago and I was hanging out with Ore who is 9 doing on 19. I haven’t seen her in 3 years. 3 years ago she was 6 and hanging out with her was way cooler back then. Back then, I was her favorite coolest aunty. Now I am just there. 🙁
‘Can we watch something else?’ She says to me just as Forrest punches another deadbeat boyfriend of Jenny.
‘Hush child! There is so much to learn from this…’ I tell her. She rolls her eyes as any typical American child would. I don’t blame her either. If I was her age and used to watching Arianna Grande be foolish, how can a bumbling Tom Hanks ever be entertaining?
I saw Forrest Gump when I was 12 or so. It was on DSTV. I was royally pissed. No, not at Forrest. Everyone loves Forrest. I was pissed at Jenny. How do you have a good man and not hold onto him tighter than the way our grandmothers use ‘oja’  to tie us to their backs?
As the years have passed and I have become wiser and my heart has experienced its’ own pitfalls, I have become kinder to Jenny. The chick had the chips stacked against her from the get-go. How was she going to be able to recognize gold for what it was worth when all she had known was dirt?
Jennies, Juwons are not bad people. In fact they are some of the best people. Just don’t fall in love with them. You would be doing yourself a gross disfavor.
Warsan Shire who is impossibly beautiful says ‘I let you leave, I need someone who knows how to stay.’ Jennies don’t know how to stay. Even when it seems like the cock has come home to roost, they will leave you eventually-just look at how the foolish girl died and left Forrest I and Forrest II all alone in this world.
We all need someone who knows how to stay. We all need a Forrest in our lives, trees that stand come what may, unbending in their devotion and love. But you know what we need more than we need a Forest, we need to become a Forrest ourselves

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So when I went to read the story that had been pinged back in that post, I came across a sentence that I have stamped on my heart just so I never forget.

“Birds and butterflies are poor companions. They need your admiration but not your love”

There are certain people you can crush on and admire from afar, but must never date because they are not keepers. Nothing you ever do for these ones will make them stay. They will tell you even as they twist the knife in your heart “it’s not you, it’s me.” and they’ll be right but it will not ease the hurt. If anything, it will make it worse.

So here’s to admiring the Jennys and Juwons from afar. Here’s to finding Forrests that will fill that void and stay strong and unmovable through all the seasons 🙂